Coffee cup reflections

Today give yourself permission to be you.

To create a creative mess.

To sit with a book or knitting.

To hold a mug of something hot and stare out the window.

To say 'yes' more than 'no'.

To listen to your body & it's cues.

To eat healthy & drink water,

but also sneak a bite of chocolate.

Today give yourself permission to let go of the worry and anxiety.

Live in the moment of right now.

Feel your emotions and allow them to be.

Dream the big dreams and believe they will come true.

Today give yourself permission to take care of you.

What does your heart desire today?

To draw.

To paint.

To write.

To relax.

To have a dance party.

To move your body.

To sit in silence.

Today give yourself permission.

This moment in motherhood

Corinne wrote a beautiful post on the Duality of Motherhood. Before reading what I am going to write, please go over and read her words.

Her words are resonating with me greatly tonight. Marie-Therese is sick. The kind of sick that kept me awake almost all of last night, her bouts of coughing had me going back and forth from my room to her bedside at least once an hour. Every time I bent over her, gently brushed her hair out of her face, whispered if there was anything she needed, she sweetly said "I'm okay Momma, thank you for coming to check on me."

This morning when my alarm went off I wanted nothing more than to stay in my bed. She finally was sleeping peacefully but the smell of coffee had made it's way up the stairs to my nose and my body, even though it hadn't gotten much sleep knew that it was time to get up. I made my way down to my chair for my morning routine of prayers, journaling & watching the sunrise.

And that is how she found me about an hour later. My big little girl came downstairs with tears running down her face, a chest wracking cough and bright red cheeks. I asked what she needed and she replied in her laryngitis voice "just to cuddle with you" and so we did. She curled into my body like she hasn't since she was much littler. I soaked up all those minutes, that she still needs me, still trusts that she can come to me and I can fix whatever ails her. Even if I can't take the pain of sickness away, I can wrap my arms and blanket around her and pull her close and whisper words of comfort.

All day long I went between sitting on the couch with her and caring for Veronica who didn't understand why her best playmate wouldn't play and decided that she too needed extra Momma cuddles today.

By supper time I was touched out. I wanted nothing more than to retreat to my bed, alone, to sleep for hopefully the whole night. As I was finishing up eating a small body made her way from the couch to my side and lay her head on my lap "can you come back and cuddle with me, please?" Of course little girl.

It is now just after nine o'clock and both girls have been in bed for awhile. I know that tonight holds much of the same as last night. Every time the coughing fit starts I will go to her side to make sure she doesn't need anything. The pull of sleep, the pull of my own bed will be nothing compared to the pull of my little girl.

Corinne's words tonight about the daulity of motherhood hit me so deeply because I am living it. Tonight especaily, the desire to have no one touch me, the desire to have a few moments of quiet, to sleep through the night. And yet the desire to make sure that my child is well, that she has the assuarance and comfort that when she calls I will be there with medicine, water, and whispers of love over-rides the needs of myself.

This is my moment in motherhood. There are so many moments that make up this life of mothering little one's. I wouldn't give up any, good or bad. I am honored I get to mother these girls.

Saint Patrick's Day

 

The way that my husband loves St. Patrick's Day you would think he was fully Irish. To him, that 1/4 of Irish blood running through his veins is everything. He waits for this holiday the other 364 days of the year like a child waits for their birthday. Growing up for me, this was a day to wear green and eat corned beef and cabbage. It was a bright spot in the month but not huge. That has changed for me since I met my husband.

We have been planning for today since the beginning of March. And Marie-Therese got in on the excitement this year. She had great plans for art, gifts for us all, things to do. When the calendar hit March 1st, I ignored the snowstorm swirling outside and we put green all over the house. Yesterday I was informed by my fashion conscious 5 year old that she had nothing green to wear and that was a tragedy! I had a thought to go to the mall to try to find something but I had no desire to do that. So we went on a quick trip to the big box craft store and found some perfect fabric to make a St. Patrick's Day skirt. It had shamrocks, rainbows AND sparkles. She quickly declared it the most perfect fabric ever and then found some owl fabric to make her sister a skirt too.

Thankfully I have been in the mood to sew and those sweet skirts were made up in no time. This morning dawned gray and rainy but I wasn't going to let that dampen my spirits. We got dressed in our green and headed out to Dunkin Donuts for a shamrock donut, to the grocery store for green carnations (daddy's favorite flowers for his favorite holiday) and then to another craft store to see what they might have for St. Patrick's craft supplies.

This afternoon the clouds parted and the sun shone brightly. There may have been some trips to the window to see if we could see a rainbow (we couldn't) and lots of talk of trying to find a leprechaun so we could share some of his gold. Supper was cooking all afternoon on the stove making our stomachs rumble and more than one trip downstairs during rest time for Marie-Therese to ask if she could "try just one bite because it smells SO GOOD Momma."

This is such a simple holiday to celebrate and I think it's a good lesson, for me at least. We don't need much to bring joy and excitement to our days. It has been a long winter here and I am done. My mood has been suffering lately and I could very easily have slipped into only preparing a corned beef dinner with none of the other little things. But it was those other little things that made my mood lighter today. There isn't much green outside yet so we brought green to our home with the shamrocks hanging from the ceiling and sparkly rainbow skirts for little girls.

Just the feeling that today was something special was enough to bring joy to my heart. Seeing my girls excited for this day made me excited too. Listening to the joy in my husbands voice when he called in the middle of the day lifted my spirits. A holiday in the middle of March is a good idea. I let go of the control I would have had one day not long ago....the pressure to DO IT ALL or don't do anything at all. I didn't do all of the ideas I had, I didn't go over the top, just small, simple things. And because we had a simple celebration it was that much more special. There is no need to do things up big all the time. It takes the pressure off. Today gave us all something to look forward to.

Tonight all four of us are going to bed with tummies stuffed full and hearts bursting with gratitude that daddy is part Irish and proud of it!

Weekending

This weekend has been full of rain and gray. The picture above was taken Friday afternoon when the girls and I got outside for awhile. It was wonderful!

Yesterday morning they were talking about it being a rainy day so I went out to do some grocery shopping and spend some quiet alone time at Church. By the time I got home it was raining.

So there was lunch & picking up the house before rest time.

The baby napped in her bed

The husband napped on the couch

and 

Marie-Therese and I rested up in my bed. She watched some shows on the iPad and I began a new book.

After a few hours I came downstairs to bake a squash pie in honor of pi day and make calzones for supper.

There was supper and pie and books and bath and bed.

Momma is sick and tired of this gray weather. It's starting to affect my mood pretty badly. I have tried to not let it, and snap out of it....but it's not so easy some days! My poor people. Here's hoping spring arrives very soon so we can spend lots of time outside soaking up sunshine!

Today was Church and then home for lunch and rest again. I finished the book from yesterday, knit a little bit and did a little pick up around the house. Oh I also made a chocolate cream pie to bring to my sister-in-laws tonight. Still celebrating pi day!

Linking up for the first time in a few months with Karen!