I have been thinking quite a bit about connection these days. Connection between myself and others, both in the real world and the on-line world. Connection between myself and myself.
Yesterday was the start day of at least four different e-courses that all caught my eye. For the past week I have been bombarded in my Instagram feed and in my e-mail with beautiful images and words: sign up! There will be beauty and magic happening. And I was tempted, oh so tempted to sign up for them all. I have no doubt there will be beautiful prompts, beautiful words sent each day. I have no doubt that I would get much from each one, much to think about, to contemplate, inspiration to draw from to add to my own collection of creative ideas.
But I didn't sign up for any of them. Aside from the fact that if I had I would be broke financially, I think I would also have broken my mental bank.
Because the fact is, right now my inner well is overwhelmed, over stimulated, bubbling over. All with beautiful images and ideas and thoughts and beautiful women sharing all the gifts and talents that they have. I am honored to know so many beautiful ladies who share what they have with others.
For now, I need to retreat a bit from the ideas and talents and words from others and instead focus that attention inside myself.
The truth is: I have beautiful ideas and talents and words bubbling up inside of me too. Getting louder & louder each day and I am finding myself hushing them in order to hear the outside voices. The more I hush myself the more unsettled I become.
This is where Radical Self-Care becomes real to me. Right here, right now. When I turn off the outside inspiration and instead retreat inside of myself. Where I learn to trust myself, to believe in myself. To stop and finally listen to the voice inside of me that is saying I am worthy, I have talents and gifts to give too. Stop and listen to them, use them, believe in them.
It's hard--to step back from so much goodness, but it is necessary. It is time to stop to listen to my own words, to trust that I have all that I need inside of me--all that I need to create, to grow, to flourish. It is time for me to go inside and get in touch with my own words, my own ideas, my own dreams & adventures.
I look at all the offerings that are available right now, I see the beauty that others share, and I know that I need to step back a bit, not for a lack of inspiration but so that I can use what I have already gathered, so I can hear the voice inside of me. I am getting overwhelmed by the outside noise and the inside noise too, it is getting louder every day, a sign that it is time to pay attention.
If I continue on with the leaning into other people's words and work I will never tap into what I am capable of and I don't want that. I know I have it deep inside of me to create great things so it is now time to dive deep to see what's there.
There won't be a total stepping back, I still want the connection between myself and the beauty that people share. That is one way I fill my well, but it cannot be the only way. So the hard work of checking in on social media only a few times a day rather then constantly begins. To find other things to fill those few moments of quiet rather then picking up my phone and clicking onto Instagram. Even if it is just being quiet. Sitting with my own thoughts. Sitting in silence and seeing what comes. Trust that great things can come from the silence. There is no need to bombard all my senses with outside sensations, there is plenty of beauty and inspiration inside of me.
So this week I will be leaning into the silence, turning off some of the outside noise so that I will be better able to hear my own voice speaking. Connecting to myself in order to create my own beauty in the world. Because the world is waiting for my own brand of creativity. I first need to be able to tap into it before I can fully share it.