Postcards from Summer

Yesterday morning was spent with us all catching up on our reading. After that we did a little art; baked some pumpkin bread & then it was lunch and rest time.

After rest we headed outside for some bike riding, collecting berries for the fairies & some more art in the shade of the crab apple tree.

These slow days of summer are starting to get less humid & uncomfortable. Our energy levels (and attitudes) are slowly beginning to swing upwards! And a morning spent with books & art & baking sure helps too!

Weekending

This weekend was what we needed. 

I was awoken Saturday morning by the sun streaming into the bedroom. It was a gentle wake up with coffee, journaling & prayer.

We dropped my car off for a new tire & balancing and aligning and all that (last weekend on our way to my sister-in-laws we got a flat tire. Ran over a big piece of metal that tore through it.)

Saturday afternoon was spent knitting, watching cooking show's & relaxing in the sunshine while my husband cleaned up the yard (last Tuesday morning a huge freak storm rolled through the area and smacked our city. Trees on cars & in houses; a few houses a few neighborhoods away from ours were knocked off their foundations. Thankfully we just had a lot of big branches down with no damage. over 75% of the city was without power for over a day. We were lucky & were only without ours for 15 hours. The majority of that time while we were "camping"). 

Sunday was Mass & a quick run to the grocery store & more knitting in the sunshine & cooking steaks on the grill & enjoying a fire in the new fire pit (our first!)

As I was typing this weekending post up I realized I haven't updated here in over a week! Aside from the tire & the storm we were gone much of last week camping. Which means we left here to spend the day at my parents campsite with them & my sisters about a half hour away. At the end of the day we came home to our bed & shower! The end of the week was spent catching up on laundry & cleaning & grocery shopping.

Playing along with Karen for weekending!

Catch up summer postcard

There was a break in the postcard posting here last week due to dance camp. We had to be up & 30 minutes away by 8:50 each morning. That cut into blogging time & reading everyone else's blogs too!

And the past few days have been catch up around the house time. (And on sleep time). 

Today begins the first day of a long stretch of crazy hot weather. The hottest of the year so far they are saying. I think we will make a run to Target in a bit to find a small kiddie pool, set that & the water table up & spend time out in the shade in the water in the mornings & then upstairs in the air conditioning for nap/quiet time afternoons!

I had wanted to have a yarn along post today but there hasn't been any knitting for over a week. I have what I think might be carpal tunnel in my hand. It's caused by my twisting it funny opening a cupboard (of all things!) about a week ago and it hurts like crazy when I do much of anything....knitting included. I've been trying to rest it (and really I think I need to put the phone down more often because it's after scrolling through Instagram that I notice a big jump in pain).

I have been reading & finished that book up there in just a few days. It was SO good. I haven't read any historical fiction in so long and this book has re-ignited my love for that genre. I must find more!

So that's a quick catch-up of life here these days! I'm hoping to catch up with everyone's blogs today!

Postcards from summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

Yesterday was recovery day from the weekend.

It was also the hottest day of the summer so far, so we spent the morning outside with the water table. Playing, running, resting on the blanket, having a picnic lunch. When the sun moved and there was no shade we retreated into the house for naps & reading in the air conditioned upstairs. 

After supper it was cooler outside so we sat on the deck and watched two little girls give a dance recital in the golden summer evening sun. 

This is what summer is made of.

Weekending

Our weekend began Friday with getting ready for a wedding! The girls were flower girls in their cousins wedding and you have never seen two cuter flower girls! (If I do say so myself!) The best part in Marie-Therese's world was being able to be a part of the big girls getting hair done, makeup done and dressed. My heart overflowed with love for the bride and her bridesmaids. We arrived at the hotel and they all scooped my two little one's up and included them in every second of the joy of getting ready.

Both girls did fabulous. From walking down the aisle, to having their picture taken, to dancing away the night until 11:30! 

Saturday was a late morning then packing up to head to my cousins high school graduation party. There was swimming and bouncing in the bounce house and another late night. Yesterday was Church and then grocery shopping and taking naps and yard work and trying to catch up on the laundry.

Today will be a slow day of relaxing, finishing catching up on all the house work that I let slide for a weekend of fun!

Linking up with Karen! 

Yarn Along

It's been a long time since I participated in a Yarn Along with Ginny! I have still been reading (lots & lots!) and knitting too. For 2015 I made a goal that I would knit a pair of socks each month. That one up there is the second sock of June's pair. I am sort of in a mid-month end/begin cycle but that's okay. As long as I have 12 socks at the end of the year I will be very happy! So far I have made I think one pair for myself. All the rest have been for gifts! After this pair up there is finished I will be working on a pair all for me!

I also have been averaging a book every three or four days. For about a month I couldn't sleep. My husband finally figured out why. I was sitting with the iPad until bedtime each night. He said something technical about the light from the screen telling my brain to wake up even if I felt tired and it was keeping me up. So as an experiment I decided to shut all screens off about an hour before bed and read my book. It has had amazing results: not only am I getting tons of books read but I also am falling right asleep at bedtime! 

I am almost finished with The Life and Death of Sophie Stark. It's haunting and good and makes me remember my old thoughts that in order to be a creative genius you have to be a little crazy....although I guess we all are crazy in our own way!

I am working through the Artists Way with an on-line friend. We just began this past Monday and I can already tell it will help open up some creativity in my writing. I am excited to see where it takes me!

Post cards from Summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

Yesterday was warm, not too humid. There was a trip to the library & then a picnic lunch in the backyard. A nice rest time and then after supper more time outside to run, knit, help daddy plant some flowers and enjoy the evening sun. After baths we all ran back outside to watch the sunset. The sky was on fire with brilliant orange! There was the night time read aloud out on the back deck too. 

And in regards to the teepee from yesterdays post: no we didn't make it and it isn't in our yard either although we all would love it to be! It's at the day lily nursery we went to on Sunday! Both girls loved it! (So did the momma & daddy!)

Postcards from Summer :: Weekending

A 4th of July cookout with cousins; watching the fireworks from Washington DC on TV; a slow Sunday with a visit to a day lily nursery; a little bit of knitting, a lot of reading; pretty much exactly the kind of weekend we all love around here!!

Joining Karen for her weekending series!

Postcards from Summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

Postcards from the past few days!! An evening spent at the ocean; watching the last of the sunset & harvesting some onions from the garden (the only thing this year. We didn't get anything planted in time). 

I can't believe it is July already! I have made a challenge for myself: to get me outside for at least five minutes of momma time a day and to get the girls outside for much more than five minutes each day! We have been doing pretty good but it could always be better!

Postcards from Summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

Yesterday I turned some of those strawberries we picked the other night into a strawberry-blueberry crisp thanks to a recipe I found on Pinterest. It was a little too sweet and juicy but still delicious! And I have plenty of strawberries left to experiment with the recipe and make it again!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend full of fun, family & relaxtion!

Postcards from Summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

Strawberry picking last night! It wasn't until the very end that two little girls realized they could eat some too. We had very sticky little one's when we got home! Today will be all about making some strawberry rhubarb crisps!

Postcards from Summer

{My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional: to take more pictures with the big camera; to be outside as much as possible; for my girls to have as many fond memories of summer; and to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard!}

The supper I had in mind last night wouldn't cooperate with me (pizza dough & humidity don't mix!)

My husband suggested we order a pizza, pick it up and head to our favorite beach to eat and collect sea shells. So that's what we did. A perfect end to the first full day of summer!

Postcards from Summer

::Summer solstice sunset last night::

My intention for this summer is relaxed & slow & intentional.

I want to take more pictures with the big girl girl camera. 

I want to be outside as much as possible.

I want my girls to have as many fond memories of summer as I have from when I was little.

I also want to capture some of that here.

So postcards it will be. A picture or two of our day, with a few words written. Just like an old fashioned postcard (I want to send more real post cards too! I love receiving & sending snail mail!)

Today Radical Self-Care Looks Like....

**slow morning

** no early morning writing

** deciding to cancel today's plans 

** (trying to) practice patience

** lots of cuddles

** watching a movie

** letting go of expectations

** doing the bare minimum around the house

** allowing myself to simply be

Allergies have hit all three of us girls hard today. It's not horrible and if we wanted to we could push through. But we all are sleepy and a tad bit cranky. So I decided to cancel our plans for today and allow Marie-Therese to watch a movie and relax on the couch. I decided to allow myself to not worry about laundry or errands. The baby is doing her usual....making a mess of everything she comes in contact with. A little tornado she is these days, leaving destruction in her path!

But for today I am trying to just let it all go. Allergies are not the end of the world, thankful that's *all* we have, I am taking a little bit extra care of us. Thankful for the opportunity to be able to do that. To baby us all a little more than usual. 

There is a bit of guilt, the thoughts of "We could have done our usual stuff. I should be cleaning. I should be doing some project. I should......" so the radical self-care needs to also be "Allowing myself to simply be in the moment of not feeling 100% and going with what my body says it needs.

How are you practicing radical self-care today? 

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Cultivating Creativity begins this coming Monday! For a chance to win a spot in the course share in the comments how you are practicing radical self-care today. I will pick a winner on Friday!

Get outside

The siren call of new bubbles called her. All through lunch she repeated, as if she was afraid that I would forget, "We can go outside for a few minutes before rest time, right? Remember you said we can blow bubbles for just a few minutes?"

These weren't just any bubbles though....they were PINK bubbles. And to my pink loving, bubble loving girl these were the most magnificent things in the world. She was disappointed at first that they didn't look too pink, until they landed on the grass and she could get up close and personal with them. "Momma!! They are REALLY pink. This is the best day ever!"

(They most decidedly are pink too, as the pink streak of bubble solution in her hair proved).

As usually happens she got tired quickly of blowing and asked me to take over so that she could chase them down to pop them. 

As I stood in the middle of the lawn blowing bubbles I was transported back to childhood. THIS is what it is all about. Bare feet in the grass, uncontrollable giggles from little girls who have the best of times running from one end of the yard to the other chasing and popping bubbles. 

My heart about overflowed as I stood there and blew & blew bubbles until I couldn't anymore. This is  the childhood I want for my girls. One of slow summer days, blowing bubbles, time outside to do what they wish, sidewalk chalk, swings, barefoot and giggles and playing tag. Less time inside, less time in front of screens. More time in imagination and the world of little girls. 

These lessons are for me too. Slow down and enjoy the summer days. I can enter childhood again right alongside of them. There is nothing to say that just because I am a "grown-up" I can't enjoy blowing bubbles and running barefoot through the grass. 

(And then taking advil for that one time that I tripped on a rock and fell. All to the sound of my little girls giggling as they both ran over to pig pile on top of me).

Radical Self Care Week Three

Connection.

I have been thinking quite a bit about connection these days. Connection between myself and others, both in the real world and the on-line world. Connection between myself and myself.

Yesterday was the start day of at least four different e-courses that all caught my eye. For the past week I have been bombarded in my Instagram feed and in my e-mail with beautiful images and words: sign up! There will be beauty and magic happening. And I was tempted, oh so tempted to sign up for them all. I have no doubt there will be beautiful prompts, beautiful words sent each day. I have no doubt that I would get much from each one, much to think about, to contemplate, inspiration to draw from to add to my own collection of creative ideas.

But I didn't sign up for any of them. Aside from the fact that if I had I would be broke financially, I think I would also have broken my mental bank. 

Because the fact is, right now my inner well is overwhelmed, over stimulated, bubbling over. All with beautiful images and ideas and thoughts and beautiful women sharing all the gifts and talents that they have. I am honored to know so many beautiful ladies who share what they have with others. 

For now, I need to retreat a bit from the ideas and talents and words from others and instead focus that attention inside myself.

The truth is: I have beautiful ideas and talents and words bubbling up inside of me too. Getting louder & louder each day and I am finding myself hushing them in order to hear the outside voices. The more I hush myself the more unsettled I become. 

This is where Radical Self-Care becomes real to me. Right here, right now. When I turn off the outside inspiration and instead retreat inside of myself. Where I learn to trust myself, to believe in myself. To stop and finally listen to the voice inside of me that is saying I am worthy, I have talents and gifts to give too. Stop and listen to them, use them, believe in them.

It's hard--to step back from so much goodness, but it is necessary. It is time to stop to listen to my own words, to trust that I have all that I need inside of me--all that I need to create, to grow, to flourish. It is time for me to go inside and get in touch with my own words, my own ideas, my own dreams & adventures. 

I look at all the offerings that are available right now, I see the beauty that others share, and I know that I need to step back a bit, not for a lack of inspiration but so that I can use what I have already gathered, so I can hear the voice inside of me. I am getting overwhelmed by the outside noise and the inside noise too, it is getting louder every day, a sign that it is time to pay attention.

If I continue on with the leaning into other people's words and work I will never tap into what I am capable of and I don't want that. I know I have it deep inside of me to create great things so it is now time to dive deep to see what's there. 

There won't be a total stepping back, I still want the connection between myself and the beauty that people share. That is one way I fill my well, but it cannot be the only way. So the hard work of checking in on social media only a few times a day rather then constantly begins. To find other things to fill those few moments of quiet rather then picking up my phone and clicking onto Instagram. Even if it is just being quiet. Sitting with my own thoughts. Sitting in silence and seeing what comes. Trust that great things can come from the silence. There is no need to bombard all my senses with outside sensations, there is plenty of beauty and inspiration inside of me.

So this week I will be leaning into the silence, turning off some of the outside noise so that I will be better able to hear my own voice speaking. Connecting to myself in order to create my own beauty in the world. Because the world is waiting for my own brand of creativity. I first need to be able to tap into it before I can fully share it.

Radical Self-Care Week Two

As I mentioned in last week's post, Radical Self-Care to me means going above and beyond the usual things I do to care for myself and a huge thing for me this month is to change the way I look at myself. Inside and outside. To speak to myself in a more positive way, to look in the mirror more often and actually LOOK at myself.

To that end I have been taking a selfie each day. Sometimes I post them on Instagram, other times I just keep them on my phone. Most days I take a picture of myself with one or both of the girls. I am noticing a difference in myself between my alone pictures or with them. 

When I am turning the phone on just me I am more self conscious about how I look, how is my head tilted? Am I looking in the phone or not? Do I look crazy? When I take a picture with the girls I am looking at them and the pictures come out more relaxed and I can tell! 

I am not taking selfies as a way to say "Hey! Look at me!" (the reason why I'm not sharing them ALL on Instagram) but rather as a way to practice self-love. As a way to get to know myself and feel comfortable being me. 

Last week I came across a post on Facebook containing a link to a blog post about selfies. I nodded my head as I read it, most especially at these lines: 

Selfies are a way of saying, “I love myself, and I will fight anyone who tries to change that fact.”

Selfies are not a question. They’re not asking “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Selfies are a statement: “I am here.”

I see you.

I love you.

You matter.     

That is why I am taking them this month. 

It's helping too, this whole Radical Self-Care thing! I can feel a shift happening in the way I talk to myself and how I give myself encouragement with the different creative ideas I have. I am beginning to trust in my abilities to carry through on my thoughts and dreams. And it is freeing and liberating and I am much more content going through my days. 

It feels very weird to pick up the phone and snap a picture of myself. But I am doing it more. When I feel happy, content, joyful, at peace, stressed out, anxious, unsettled. It feels good to take a picture of myself and look at it and think, "She's good. She is worthy of time and respect. She has value as a person and as a woman. She looks tired and anxious, give her space and time to be."

I am practicing talking to myself the way I would talk to a friend who needs lifting up and encouragement. Taking selfies is a weird for me way to go about it, but it is working so I will continue!

Full Moon Rising

The other night (Saturday night actually. The night before the full moon) I was rushing around trying to get the night time rituals done—a cranky tired baby and 5 year old were making me cranky too and I wanted everything picked up, pajamas on and girls in bed NOW!

As I went to quickly close the curtains I spotted it beckoning to me through the tree branches that had tiny buds on them---the full moon. It pulled me. This happens each time I catch a glimpse of it, my breath catches and a feeling of awe overcomes me. That night it was almost overwhelming—probably because of my mood.

Without really knowing what I was doing I grabbed the camera and slipped barefoot out the door. It was chilly but I needed those few moments of awe and wonder, the reminder to slow down and notice the majesty that is outside my window just waiting to be taken in. I couldn’t get a good shot from the deck so I stepped onto the grass—it was cold and damp and grounded me. It sent a shiver up my body as I walked to where the trees cleared a bit. And there it was in all it’s glory—almost full—so much so that it looked full. Big and bright against the deep blue of an almost dark sky.

I snapped a few pictures before stopping to simply gaze at it. The moon that has cycles, that appears as an almost transparent white in the deep blue of mid-afternoon and at other times, like tonight, as if it is glowing. It captivates me and pulls at my soul in a way that I can’t seem to capture in words.

As I stood there shivering slightly, my bare feet in damp grass, I felt alive. I felt connected, to God, to the universe, to others, to all creation.

The moment didn’t last long before the pull of children needing their bedtime routines beckoned me back inside. I look back now wishing I had made sure to capture it more, to have been even more aware of the moment.

But it is enough that I took that time—that I stopped to notice even for a fleeting moment, that our souls can expand and be ready to soak in even more of the next moment that comes.

Radical Self-Care

At the beginning of each month I come up with a few intentions to follow. Sort of like a mini-new year when the calendar page turns. I find this to be helpful, more so than a huge resolution on January 1st. Some months I follow the intentions well, other months not so much.

For May I am determined though, and only 4 days in I am doing pretty good!! A big intention this month is to practice Radical Self-Care. The idea for this came about through my journaling the past few months and was solidified when the challenge for May in the Mama Scout Laboratory for Creative Living group over on Facebook became Radical Self-Care. (Check out the MamaScout blog. That’s where the group was born. Amy does some awesome work).

I have decided for the month of May to do a blog series on what Radical Self-Care means to me and how I am practicing it. Each Monday I will post a different aspect of and how I am following, self-care. 

To me Radical self-care means going above and beyond the things that I already do each day to take care of myself: waking at least an hour before the girls do in the morning to start my day off with journaling, coffee and prayer. That centers me and prepares me for the day ahead. I also take some time during afternoon rest to sit with a cup of tea and read or knit for a few minutes. That is a centering time for me to prepare for the late day things we do.

I sat to art journal a little bit at the end of April what RADICAL self-care means to me. I had no preconceived ideas what it meant, I just sat down when the five year old was doing her art to do art along with her. It ended up looking like this:

A theme that ended up coming out was that I need to be more positive towards myself. Towards my body and my thoughts. So for this month that’s what Radical means for me: thinking of and viewing myself in a more positive way by talking about, thinking about and seeing myself a lot less negatively. For myself but also for my girls. Marie-Therese has begun telling me that I need to “stop being mean to yourself Momma!” at least once a day. I don’t even realize I am speaking in a not so nice way about myself until she points it out.

So this month I am going to focus on my positives, on what I am doing right, on how I am glowing. By taking care of my body better through more movement, more nourishing foods, more rest when it needs. I have decided to take a selfie each day as a way to be more radical—as a way to really LOOK at myself, not in a “hey this looks wrong”or “hey look at me”but as a way to see who I am. 

What does self-care look like for you right now?

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As a special for Mother’s Day I am offering a bring a friend deal for my new e-course Cultivating Creativity that begin June 1st. If you purchase a spot, add your friend’s name and e-mail in the notes to seller section! 

The Creativity Tree

Deb at Inner Compass Designs begins a new project today, The Creativity Tree. A new blog link up to showcase all the branches of creativity. I was so excited to see that she is doing this for a few reasons. First of all she inspires me by her creativity she posts over on Instagram. Each month she chooses a different medium to focus on & I love seeing her progress.

I was also excited to see this because right now I am in the thick of all my ideas based on creativity. So much so that I am writing a new e-course on creative living. 

For this first week of the blog hop I decided to focus on my writing. At the beginning of each month I set a few intentions. For May I have two big ones: Radical Self-Care and all that means for taking care of myself, most especially being more authentically me. I have a blog series in mind with this topic beginning next week!

The second intention is to focus more on my writing. For months now I have been getting up in the morning and immediately sit down to do Morning Pages, stream of conscious writing. Whatever is in my head, just let it out. It is powerful stuff! So many ideas are born here, so many dots are put on the page just waiting for me to go back and connect them into a whole. It is amazing to me all the ideas I have in my head that I most likely wouldn't give thought to if it weren't for this writing.

My plan for May is to take some of those ideas and flesh them out. To spend at least a half hour of time each day doing writing other than morning pages. I want to expand my writing, to take it more serious, to dip into areas of my writing that I keep thinking "someday". All I need to do is sit down with pen and paper and see what comes.

Please take a few minutes to head over to Deb's to see all the branches of creativity that are flourishing! 

I miss this space

It's one of those things....you stop doing something for awhile and then it's hard to get back into it. Like sharing here. 

I miss this space, sharing our day, my thoughts, documenting the girls activities. 

Instagram has sort of taken over my blogging need. It's so much easier to snap a picture, put up a few words and move on. But I like blogging too, it gives me the space to sit and think more in depth about what is going on behind the picture, to remember and think about the scene that happened. 

And then I think "But I haven't blogged in so long" and it's hard to pick up again. I analyze that maybe I should change up my posting, make it more in depth, more of my writing, more thinking. But when I start to compartmentalize like that, nothing happens. 

I began blogging as a way to document our days, the things that make us happy....hence the title of this blog. Sometimes a picture with just a sentence or two will be good. Other times a poem I have written, or something more in depth. Sharing my knitting, or a project we are working on, pictures of the birds or flowers, pictures of the girls as they do their things. 

So I plan on continuing like I started. Sharing bits and pieces of our days and the things that bring us joy. I miss doing that here and having it all in one place. And I miss the community that has built up around this place. 

It is time to come back. I am grateful for that.

Weekending

 

This weekend was all about getting ready for and celebrating Easter.

We went to an Easter Egg Hunt at my mom's Church Saturday where Veronica not only guessed the correct amount of jelly beans in the water bottle but also won this stuffed frog that is bigger than she is....she loves it!

Then there was bagels & donuts at my moms, home to finish cleaning & setting up for Easter dinner, pizza for supper & an early bedtime for the girls (although one of them couldn't go to sleep thinking about the Easter bunny coming)

Easter morning dawned bright and early. Another egg hung at home, goodies in baskets, attending the joy filled Easter Mass, home to finish putting food together, then everyone arrived to enjoy food and each others company.

It was a fast paced weekend full of moments of peace and joy. Just the kind of weekend I love!

Joining Karen for Weekending 

Coffee cup reflections

Today give yourself permission to be you.

To create a creative mess.

To sit with a book or knitting.

To hold a mug of something hot and stare out the window.

To say 'yes' more than 'no'.

To listen to your body & it's cues.

To eat healthy & drink water,

but also sneak a bite of chocolate.

Today give yourself permission to let go of the worry and anxiety.

Live in the moment of right now.

Feel your emotions and allow them to be.

Dream the big dreams and believe they will come true.

Today give yourself permission to take care of you.

What does your heart desire today?

To draw.

To paint.

To write.

To relax.

To have a dance party.

To move your body.

To sit in silence.

Today give yourself permission.

This moment in motherhood

Corinne wrote a beautiful post on the Duality of Motherhood. Before reading what I am going to write, please go over and read her words.

Her words are resonating with me greatly tonight. Marie-Therese is sick. The kind of sick that kept me awake almost all of last night, her bouts of coughing had me going back and forth from my room to her bedside at least once an hour. Every time I bent over her, gently brushed her hair out of her face, whispered if there was anything she needed, she sweetly said "I'm okay Momma, thank you for coming to check on me."

This morning when my alarm went off I wanted nothing more than to stay in my bed. She finally was sleeping peacefully but the smell of coffee had made it's way up the stairs to my nose and my body, even though it hadn't gotten much sleep knew that it was time to get up. I made my way down to my chair for my morning routine of prayers, journaling & watching the sunrise.

And that is how she found me about an hour later. My big little girl came downstairs with tears running down her face, a chest wracking cough and bright red cheeks. I asked what she needed and she replied in her laryngitis voice "just to cuddle with you" and so we did. She curled into my body like she hasn't since she was much littler. I soaked up all those minutes, that she still needs me, still trusts that she can come to me and I can fix whatever ails her. Even if I can't take the pain of sickness away, I can wrap my arms and blanket around her and pull her close and whisper words of comfort.

All day long I went between sitting on the couch with her and caring for Veronica who didn't understand why her best playmate wouldn't play and decided that she too needed extra Momma cuddles today.

By supper time I was touched out. I wanted nothing more than to retreat to my bed, alone, to sleep for hopefully the whole night. As I was finishing up eating a small body made her way from the couch to my side and lay her head on my lap "can you come back and cuddle with me, please?" Of course little girl.

It is now just after nine o'clock and both girls have been in bed for awhile. I know that tonight holds much of the same as last night. Every time the coughing fit starts I will go to her side to make sure she doesn't need anything. The pull of sleep, the pull of my own bed will be nothing compared to the pull of my little girl.

Corinne's words tonight about the daulity of motherhood hit me so deeply because I am living it. Tonight especaily, the desire to have no one touch me, the desire to have a few moments of quiet, to sleep through the night. And yet the desire to make sure that my child is well, that she has the assuarance and comfort that when she calls I will be there with medicine, water, and whispers of love over-rides the needs of myself.

This is my moment in motherhood. There are so many moments that make up this life of mothering little one's. I wouldn't give up any, good or bad. I am honored I get to mother these girls.

Saint Patrick's Day

 

The way that my husband loves St. Patrick's Day you would think he was fully Irish. To him, that 1/4 of Irish blood running through his veins is everything. He waits for this holiday the other 364 days of the year like a child waits for their birthday. Growing up for me, this was a day to wear green and eat corned beef and cabbage. It was a bright spot in the month but not huge. That has changed for me since I met my husband.

We have been planning for today since the beginning of March. And Marie-Therese got in on the excitement this year. She had great plans for art, gifts for us all, things to do. When the calendar hit March 1st, I ignored the snowstorm swirling outside and we put green all over the house. Yesterday I was informed by my fashion conscious 5 year old that she had nothing green to wear and that was a tragedy! I had a thought to go to the mall to try to find something but I had no desire to do that. So we went on a quick trip to the big box craft store and found some perfect fabric to make a St. Patrick's Day skirt. It had shamrocks, rainbows AND sparkles. She quickly declared it the most perfect fabric ever and then found some owl fabric to make her sister a skirt too.

Thankfully I have been in the mood to sew and those sweet skirts were made up in no time. This morning dawned gray and rainy but I wasn't going to let that dampen my spirits. We got dressed in our green and headed out to Dunkin Donuts for a shamrock donut, to the grocery store for green carnations (daddy's favorite flowers for his favorite holiday) and then to another craft store to see what they might have for St. Patrick's craft supplies.

This afternoon the clouds parted and the sun shone brightly. There may have been some trips to the window to see if we could see a rainbow (we couldn't) and lots of talk of trying to find a leprechaun so we could share some of his gold. Supper was cooking all afternoon on the stove making our stomachs rumble and more than one trip downstairs during rest time for Marie-Therese to ask if she could "try just one bite because it smells SO GOOD Momma."

This is such a simple holiday to celebrate and I think it's a good lesson, for me at least. We don't need much to bring joy and excitement to our days. It has been a long winter here and I am done. My mood has been suffering lately and I could very easily have slipped into only preparing a corned beef dinner with none of the other little things. But it was those other little things that made my mood lighter today. There isn't much green outside yet so we brought green to our home with the shamrocks hanging from the ceiling and sparkly rainbow skirts for little girls.

Just the feeling that today was something special was enough to bring joy to my heart. Seeing my girls excited for this day made me excited too. Listening to the joy in my husbands voice when he called in the middle of the day lifted my spirits. A holiday in the middle of March is a good idea. I let go of the control I would have had one day not long ago....the pressure to DO IT ALL or don't do anything at all. I didn't do all of the ideas I had, I didn't go over the top, just small, simple things. And because we had a simple celebration it was that much more special. There is no need to do things up big all the time. It takes the pressure off. Today gave us all something to look forward to.

Tonight all four of us are going to bed with tummies stuffed full and hearts bursting with gratitude that daddy is part Irish and proud of it!

Weekending

This weekend has been full of rain and gray. The picture above was taken Friday afternoon when the girls and I got outside for awhile. It was wonderful!

Yesterday morning they were talking about it being a rainy day so I went out to do some grocery shopping and spend some quiet alone time at Church. By the time I got home it was raining.

So there was lunch & picking up the house before rest time.

The baby napped in her bed

The husband napped on the couch

and 

Marie-Therese and I rested up in my bed. She watched some shows on the iPad and I began a new book.

After a few hours I came downstairs to bake a squash pie in honor of pi day and make calzones for supper.

There was supper and pie and books and bath and bed.

Momma is sick and tired of this gray weather. It's starting to affect my mood pretty badly. I have tried to not let it, and snap out of it....but it's not so easy some days! My poor people. Here's hoping spring arrives very soon so we can spend lots of time outside soaking up sunshine!

Today was Church and then home for lunch and rest again. I finished the book from yesterday, knit a little bit and did a little pick up around the house. Oh I also made a chocolate cream pie to bring to my sister-in-laws tonight. Still celebrating pi day!

Linking up for the first time in a few months with Karen!

Moments

The other night the sunset was amazing. The pink & purples were so deep. There is nothing like a late winters sunset. (Except a summers sunset!) After thinking how beautiful it was, my first thought was "I need to capture this in a picture." So I grabbed my phone and ran from the kitchen window, to the dining room window and then upstairs to the bathroom window and Marie-Therese's window. I was getting frustrated because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't quite get the vibrancy of the colors, or the stunning views I was seeing.

Before I knew it the colors weren't quite so THERE. It was still beautiful but if I wasn't careful I would miss it. Yes I would have seen the colors, the sun setting, but I was on the verge of missing the EXPERIENCE. Of the few moments of entering into the moment, standing there and simply taking in the brilliance of the painted sky.

No matter how beautiful the picture would turn out, nothing compares to being fully in the moment & experiencing it first hand. By rushing up and downstairs I was missing some moments of color, I was missing the opportunity to stand and simply be for a few moments with a beautiful sky. Pictures are wonderful and I won't stop taking them, but I have to recognize that no picture, at any time, will ever capture the true beauty of a moment. Because a picture captures a tiny second of a moment and I want to enter into the whole moment, body and soul. To have the details, the sensations, ingrained into my memory and my body.

When Marie-Therese noticed my frantic running up and down the stairs she went up to her bedroom (she already knows the best view for watching sunsets) and stood there looking out, marveling. She said the sky looked magical and the fairies must be so happy to be dancing out in those colors tonight.

Yes. That is what I to remember. Her description that needed no picture taken. I hope to remember this in the future. Take a picture, then put down the phone or the camera and enter into the moment. Allow my mind and body to capture the experience, they will do a better job at remembering than any picture ever could.

A new day

I sit in the early morning quiet

in the dark, the shadows of the trees---

do I see them? Or simply know they are there?

I look up from the page and suddenly

in only seconds

the sun is there.

A great ball of brightness

soft golden light streaming in

illuminating the journal page

the beams hit softly, enlightening the words.

I watch as the world welcomes the dawn.

What was sleeping moments ago

now is wide awake, greeting this new day

The sun beams waste no time---

green leaves in shadows now glow

the spider's web invisible moments ago,

becomes a stringed instrument the light plays upon

Grass of green has a blanket of yellow leaves

that appear to give off golden heat

In the bath of sun beams I can hear the world exclaim:

a new day

a fresh day

a day of renewal.

This is the suns promise:

today is a new day

Burst forth upon the world

bring your beauty, your talent

and shine along with me

Make the world glow

Enter into this new day,

this new day full of promise and possibility

Awaken now.

Step forth and shine.

This was written as part of Corinne's Writing Naturally course last October. I am planning on sharing a few pieces from that time this week! 

Today

I was going to come here with excuses, reasons for not having blogged. And a list of things I hope to start posting here. But really it boils down to the fact that I have been living life, enjoying my family, spending my on-line time on Instagram, and writing in places other than here (or anywhere on-line really). I decided that 2015 will be the year of writing. Not just getting the words out, I am getting pretty good at that. But of sharing my words, honing my skills, asking for and getting critique on them. And I hope to use this space of mine to do more of that. I was afraid it wouldn't fit in here, but I've never really developed a "theme" and there will still be posts about my girls, or the projects we have done. But my plan is to use this space to put myself out there a bit more, to continue to develop ideas, courses, share the beauty in my world with all of you.

No excuses, no more reasons of why I shouldn't pick blogging back up again, no expectations. Just a natural evolution of things as life flows along. I have decided that today will be the day I stop analyzing everything and begin to put in motion ideas & dreams that have been percolating in my brain for months now. And a big one is to starting writing here again. 

This winter has seemed to be going on for forever. Although when I think about it, it really began barely a month ago. In less than a month we have had two blizzards, at least five other smaller storms, and days upon days of frigid temperatures. Add to the weather that I have had two big sicknesses, the stomach bug went through every single one of us, the girls had colds from December 5 through the start of January and my motivation and get up and go has been missing.

Rather than continue to sit and moan about how I have things I want to do, accomplish I have decided that I will begin making concrete steps to working on those dreams! I look forward to being back here in this space. It feels a bit like coming home after a time away, and at the same time like a fresh start!